Xaldin's Mutton Chops
by Dayoftheweekofthemonthofthyear
Summary: Who knew mutton chops could be so fun?


**Hello, this Tangledfire, writer of the fan fiction below, I just want to get some things out of the way. This fic is an apology for not finishing crackcember, Hawkfrost and I got rather lazy. Next, please go easy on me this is the first sex fic I have written and it is crazy, and funny, and it's supposed to be that way. No flames! And you crazy grammar Nazis are free to correct my smelling and what no but I am way too lazy to change any of it ZD.**

**Warnings: Sex, mutton chops, three way, yaoi! Don't like it don't read it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, but Right and Left are belong to Hawkfrost Cyanide and Tangledfire Blac**

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"Oh yeah..." Xaldin starred at himself in the reflective surface of the oven where he could see his bean burrito was baking. "My mutton chops are soooooo sexy"

"Fuck yea we are!" Came a voice from his face.

Xaldin jumped back in surprise. "Y-you can talk?"

"Of Corse we can dumbass!"

"Why haven't u spoken before?"

"Didn't feel like I,t" said the right one.

"Too much fucken trouble," said the left one.

"So when I complement you, you finally speak up?" He lifted one eye brow

"Precisely," said the right.

"Can u do anything else?"

"Of Corse we can," snorted the left.

With that the two mutton chops proceeded to move down his face, crawling in a worm like motion. When the two pieces of facial hair reached the floor they stood up straight and turned in to two men. One with a mutton chop on the left and the other man had one on the right. Xaldin was surprised, not only by the fact that his facial hair had just become 2 men but that the two men where exceedingly attractive.

Left smirked at Xaldin. "We can do lots of things"

Right smiled shyly and nodded.

Xaldin took his time to study the two men.

Left was tall, with spiked up red hair and his face seemed to be stuck with a permanent sadistic look. His thin face was covered in piercings.

Right was short, with blond hair that was pinned back from his face with little barrettes. In comparison to Left he looked like a child.

"Why r u waiting a school girl outfit?" Xaldin asked.

Right blushed "l-left said I needed to ware it,"

Left came up behind Right and hugged the small boy smirking "Isn't he just rapeable?" He leaned down and bit Rght's ear causing the other to jump in surprise, letting out a little squeak.

Left reached down and pulled up Right's mini skirt exposing his pink panties beneath. Transfixed, Xaldin watched as left put his hands in to the pink panties. A moan escaped rights mouth as left shoved his finger into rights entrance. Xaldin tried to cover up the bulge in his pants, as this was all very arousing to him. Right glanced at Xaldin through half lidded eyes. "L-left I think. We are turning on Xaldin"

Left looked up with a smirk. "Come here,"

The now mutton chopless man moved to stand by the rack that held all the kitchen pans. Left moved away from Right and reached into his pocket, pulling out some chains. He took Xaldin's hands and attached it to the rack hanging from the ceiling. Left then sensually unzipped Xaldin's coat, pulled off the nobody's pants to revile xaldins Rasta coloured leather man thong. Left grabs right and yanks him over

" Take it off"

Right blushes and reaches for the Rasta coloured leather man thong.

"With your teeth" Right takes the Rasta colored man thong in hiss teeth, and pulls the Rasta coloured leather man thong to his ankles. Xaldin steps out off his pants and the Rasta coloured leather man thong. Still holding the Rasta coloured leather man thong in his teeth, Right moves to left and deposits the Rasta coloured leather man thong in to lefts outstretched hand. Right then begins to pump the third member's member. Left has right his fingers, covering them in saliva, and then left removed his fingers from the othersmouth and moves them to Xaldin's entrance. Xaldin gasps as Left enters his first finger in to his tight hole. Then then then the second finger, and then the third and then the whole fist! Xaldin screamed. Left takes this opportunity to stuff a ball gage in to his mouth. Then Left removes his hand, unzips his leather pants and pulled out his throbbing 27 inch penis and shoved it up Xaldin's ass. Right then impaled (I love that word) himself on Xaldin's own member.

At this point Xemnas walked in, because he wanted some fried chicken! He spotted Xaldin and his mutton chops and quickly left the room, a look of horror permanently stuck on his face. He went to the gray room where he found Saix. "Number 7," the blue haired nobody looked up "this whole organization thing... I'm done with it,"  
"Excuse me, sir?" Saix raised an eye brow.  
"Xaldin is having sex with his mutton chops..."

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**What the hell did i just wright? **


End file.
